Why don’t if feel beautiful enough for this?
When did I stop dreaming of this?
Did the sins of others dance with my fears to shake the ground on which I stood? They did, indeed.
So hard the ground did shake, while my house was still under construction on the Rock.
Little ashes, from eruptions around me, lay themselves on my heart and I let them fall in peace.
They covered me and turned me black, so I couldn’t keep my eyes set.
Now I open them and this sight is strange.
In the presence of God this ceremony proves, one of the only, to justify and purify the struggle to love and die to one’s self and make up for the failures.
And I don’t feel worthy of it.
Knowing I was made to embark such an endeavor, despite my fears, and to love like Christ; that I am a dynamic being, I submit myself to the possibilities.
To my future husband, I submit my finances, my education, my values, my body, my strength, and to my Rock, I give my future husband and my soul.
Because I admit, to see such a picture makes me weep inwardly with joy, that I am no longer covered with the ashes of sin but white as snow.
I am not blind, I can see.
How clean I have not made myself, but how pristine God as made me.
Ok Aubrey, what did we learn today?
We learned that being dirty is nothing new, when you travel, dirt happens.
But what is it all for? To create art, to get you ready to judge angels, to further the kingdom.
What did today feel like? A lost day. But how were you found?
In the love from my family, in the efforts of my boyfriend, in the gathering together of believers, in the desperate need for light, by the King of all who reigns forever.
In short, no dream, nor nightmare can seal my heart or bind me in chains. My Lord Jesus has decided I am ransomed, and so ransomed I will be.
Not my will or for my blessing, but by and for yours, God.
If I am freaking out, I am not trusting. This is me trusting.
Make my mess beautiful.